Saturday, September 16, 2017

Gore Vidal on the 2017 Baseball Season

If you're a fan of the Cubs, Cardinals or Brewers, you're paying attention to the standings of all three teams. Things are close in the National League Central Division, time is running out, every game counts and you're team's win can be canceled by another team's win.

Or, as Gore Vidal put it long ago:
It is not enough to succeed; others must fail.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Get a reindeer.

So, I'm looking at a poster of health tips on my doctor's wall. It lists the usual suspects: watch your cholesterol, drink plenty of water.

Then, I see an unusual one:
Get a reindeer to exercise every two hours.
Whoa, I never thought of that one. Then I realize I read it wrong. It actually says:
Set a reminder to exercise every two hours.
I liked my version. What are reindeer for, if not to make our lives easier? Why should I do all the sweating when I can get a reindeer to do it?
Yo! Blitzen! Go run a few laps around the house. And do twenty sit-ups--I need to trim a few inches off my waist.
For two seconds, it made sense.

Friday, February 19, 2016

Earth to Experts: It's hard to shut Iowans up

"Iowans are happy to discourse at 
length and in detail, on any topic."

--- Frank to readers in Davenport and 
Bettendorf: I don't write the headlines. 
Just so you understand. ---

Friday, January 22, 2016

Some winter webcams we could really use.

What would a Midwestern winter be like without the Iowa CornCam?

"Midwestern winter looks a lot 
better on the flat screen 
than it does in real life."