What's in a Bio?

It wasn't my idea to toss in a biography along with the short story I submitted to "A Prairie Home Companion." But the editors require it, so I enclosed a compact blurb:

Frank Mullen III’s short humorous contributions have appeared in the Washington Post and the Chicago Tribune, his poetry has been read on NPR, and his exaggerated sense of self-importance has alienated him from his neighbors in rural Illinois.

"A Prairie Home Companion" published the story, "Out on a Limb of the Tree of Knowldege" in January, '07. I find the experience somewhat validating--in the sense that having liveried attendants spray perfume about your throne while foreign princes lay caskets of jewels at your feet is "somewhat validating."

Response from readers has been unanimously enthusiastic. The emails all say the same thing: "Loved the bio!"

I spent months writing the first draft. The opening was slow, so I killed off the schoolboy's best friend. The third draft introduced the domineering mother, the fourth expanded the key themes of mistrust and torrid love. Two more drafts for a polished product, and what captures the readers' attention--the narrative arc? The imagery?

The stinking bio.

It's a shame that people are so hesitant to express themselves honestly. The world would be a better place if we'd openly show our admiration for the true winners.